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Scans: Archie #8: WTF!!?!?!?




In this issue, this happens...



Do you want context? Do you want to know what the f**k dinosaurs have to do with Scrappy forcing Daphne to belly-dance? Then read on!



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WHAT KIND OF CARNIVAL HAS A FREAKIN' STRIP TEASE ATTRACTION!!!??!? O_o






So Scrappy is a con artist who delights in LITERALLY scamming old men into losing their shirts.
I'm guessing he's not in the franchise anymore because he's serving time alongside those Enron executives...



-Scrappy: "Keep doing the exotic dancer act, Daphne. But please don't fight back when rowdy perverts try to molest you. If you get a reputation for punching rapists in the face, we'll lose ticket sales."

....Seriously, these comics can be pretty f**ked up! >_< 






There are so many things wrong with this page....
1) Velma is right. Fred is a douche for concerning himself with the TV building when Shaggy is plummeting from a 10th story window

2) Why is Daphne going along with Scrappy's sleazy scheme to use her body to swindle perverts!?!!? Even if she isn't fabulously wealthy in this canon (and therefore could use the money), she should have more self-respect than this!!

3) I notice that there are several WOMEN in the line to watch Daphne dance in her underwear. Pretty sneaky, Archie comics.











Velma and Scooby are going to need so much therapy after seeing that.....




I looked up Esther Williams because I didn't get the reference. Turns out she was a 50s movie star and an Olympic swimmer best known for choreographing elaborate synchronized swimming routines for movie studios. And she was AMAZING!!















Gee, Fred. Don't call a freakin' DOCTOR or anything.
Seriously, the dude comes across as a sociopath in this book!! O_o









Wow. We just saw Velma fire a gun at innocent civilians (and one of her friends) and hijack a bus while smoking a cigarette. I guess comics could get away with ANYTHING back in the 80s.





And now we get to see a catfight between the two leading ladies. I guess the censors were home sick when this issue got published



LOL. Its funny because she might have permanent brain damage and may need to spend the rest of her life in a prison mental institution because she tried to shoot a bunch of people.
....wait. No it's not.


Wow. That comic was messed up. Lets see if the letters of the editor are any better....


LETTERS TO THE EDITOR



This page was actually pretty funny. It's interesting that a lot of fans apparently liked Scrappy before the live action theatrical movie came out in the 90s. I wonder where all his fans went...



UPCOMING COMIC ADS


Check out the ad for the Pup Named Scooby Doo comic special in the lower-right corner of the page below. I have that comic and have already scanned it. It is AMAZING! If you haven't read it already, please do so now! Here's the link.








DISNEY AD



Wow. I always thought Mel Gibson was taller. LOL

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DISCLAIMER: As always, I don't mind if people use these scans to make icons or whatever (after all, I can't claim "ownership" of a book with characters that clearly aren't mine just because I scanned it). But credit and a link back to this post would be much appreciated if you do opt to use them or show them off elsewhere. Thanks!